11:11

hmm.. well, im still in my house.. with nothing to do. i guess ill be starting school sooner or later lol.
but i still keep in touch withh me number ones! bianca, brianna, angela, kelsey, dana, shay, jerome, + more, i love yuu guyss :]
and miss yuu.
i couldnt ask for better friends man. true ones. that i can always trustt.
now im starting to think through that word. trust. that yu cant expect to have trust in someone else if they cant trust yu. and also the friends yu can so called really trust. cause yur number 1 untrustworthy person can be sittin in yur face and yu wont even know... until one day.
but its ok.
forgive and forget. pray about it and for them.
and never look that way again :]

anywhoooo,,
ahhhh man.
iv had so much time to think, its getting annoying. lol

my self for one.
i love my self. but i have so mny problems. the type i wish i could control better. the type that hurt ppl :[
but im gunna just pray.

...be happy, please. no matter whose doing it. thats all i want. get over everything i did. and forget me.
i cant believe the way i made yu feel. it hurt so bad i cried. i cry...
not tears of yu hurting me.
but of me hurting yu.
i never wanted yu to feel pain caused by me.
i hoped and prayed i never did it. and i did. seeing yu sad always weakened me. but knowing that i caused it kills me. "everything happens for a reason.." but this is something i wish i could rewind time on.

11:11 i wish for yu, i do.
not for yu to be mine, but for yu to oneday see what i saw.
and to realize that it was really something i couldnt explain.
maybe one day.

Inevitably.

soo i havent really blogged.
but heyy,,, i think its about time. *sighhhh.

i moved. finally. HUGEEE house. its beautiful.
my last day at my house wasnt really all i expected. i only said bye to dana; shay; and bryan.
by choice.
because... well, idk.
i guess some things are harder than you thinkkk.

...
goodbye travis.

a very GOOD bye. i couldnt be happier to get outta that placee.
so muchh drama. so little time.
i hated it.

but i will always have those who are true to me :]
bianca of course :]
kelseyy,, yessirrrr.

its like i can only trust so many people.
i cant believe i gotta let go of some. just because they betrayed me sooo badlyyy. and i gave them trust??
oh well.

now im just trying to find myself. no more drama. no more nothin. only associate with a few.. or 2.
andd... well, be a better person. because iv come to realize soo much. my life that i was living was soooo wrong. in many waysss. full of deceit and lies. and bad grades.
it took me losing something SO important to me to realize that. i never knew the impact i could have on someone. i never knew that I could be the one to hurt a heart. but i never wanted to be. ever.
so sensitive, and so fragile... and yet i can be a destroyer.
we all make mistakes. some more than others. and sometimes it takes one time.. out of a million, to realize what yur doing and where yur going.
so now, i find myself. my better self. nd i move to be a great person.
and hopefully.
those will forgive.

Novenber 30, 2008

One of the most important dates in my life :)
its kind of suckish that i can talk about this, being that im only 16 lol, but oh well...
I sneak out one night.. usual shit. just a few days after Thanksgiving.
off to Torrence's. my spot. lol.
we weren't dating at the time, but still really close and talking.
(:
but anywhoooo.;
so i go over thee, and he slides my in the house. we're just messing around and being stupid.
then we kiss.
then we make out.
then we're in the bed.
lol.

ughhhhh, my v-card still stashed in my back pocket. i had no idea it was about to get maxed out, lol

i'm laying there, thinking its gunna be like every other time i come over. just 2nd basee. haaha.
ohhhhhh nooooo.
he takes it out.
it goes in... FINALLY!
lmao.
it hurt. the most excruciating pain ever.
i couldn't believe it. shock ran down my body, simply because i never saw the day coming.
such adrenaline, omg. but the pain.. brought pleasure. so much pleasure. :)
i fckn loved it.
i kinda cried.. haaha, dont judge me.
but it was amazing, nevertheless.
ahhhhhh.

then we go again.. and again. lol
each time it just gets better.
a few hours later, we're done. and i call my best friend, bianca. lol

Bianca: Hello?
Alexa: Omg guess what?
Bianca: *giggles, what???
Alexa: I just had sex !!
Bianca: OMG SERIOUSLYYYY?
Alexa: lol yesssssss.

blahh blahh blah girl talk, lol.

the night ends with a kiss, and me going home. i got my ass beat that morning for leaving lol, but it was all worth itt (:
November 30th, ill never forget that day.

The blue effect ;)

HeeHee;; picturess :).. i took.















the endd :]

Always be my baby

im in this stage of my lifee, where im obsessed with this fckn song omg !!
lol,, seriouslyy. it has to be my favorite song... iv never had one haahaha.
and the video is beautiful.

Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey

My desperate attempt at it..

9/5/09

yoooooooooooo.
iv had like this MAJOR writers block omg... lol
i missed you blogspott!
well... so much has happened mannn.
i started school, at weak ass travis.
but not for longggggg, cause im moving!!! =]
lol. to katy, cyfair?
uhhh.. idk to be honestt?
lol, but yeaaa.. on the 28thh.. that is the dayyyy. im gunna miss everybodyy :/


and you know whats funny? samantha IS going to travis! like wtf??
ughhh.
long storyy.
im sickk rite now thoughh. i been thinking that swine is passing through our house lol.
nahhhh...
but anywhooo;; i got a new carrrrrrr.!
escalade.
(dad's choice)
lol, its pretty nicee, i mean idrc. not materialistic like these moronss. lmao.
i miss myy babyy! daniel. i love youuu.<3 duhh mann. haahaha.
welll, im kinda busy... well im not, i just dont feel like typing a fckn movie, so ill be back laterr. PROMISE :) lol