Some things never changee.

Welll.....
i dont know how to start this blogg off,
so here goess...

iv made huge mistakes in my life, bigger than life mistakes..
but i alwayss just try to say "everything happens for a reason", and leave it alone. but this. this is just fckn ridiculous. i keep going back to somethingg that isnt even worth going back to. a person that does not care about me. no matter how much they say they do. someone who doesnt appreciate anything i do, when all i do is try and be there.
now i just feel so bad, i put something that wasnt even worth it; in front of EVERYTHING. time and time again. but im too stupid to notice that im just wasting both of our time. i guess i just alwayss wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, and hope that maybe one day, things would change. and you would change. but no, never that. NEVER that.


so as im walkingg, im thinking, and something feels so different. i feel like i can actually get through this, and be better. i feel like i can let you go...
completely.
as a friend, as everything.
which i never feel, i always THINK i do, but this time... just seems so different.
i deserve so much. im an intelligent, sweet, modest, funny, great person. and i know this. and all this time, i was giving you the best of me.. when i know good and well, you dont deserve it. i know im a good friend, and im better off.
so now, im not even madd. im happy. because over the past couple of days, iv realized how you really are. your nothing like i thought you were. so i guess it takes almost a year in a half to really know someone huh?
damn.
that suckks.
unfortunately i loved you, you meant everything and more to me. and i honestly still love you, no doubt at all.
but fortunately, im falling out.. and so are youu.
and thats all i can really askk for.
i wish thingss coulda been better, i wish you didnt have to be this way, but you are. and maybe its just me? idk.
but what i doo know is that, iv been too nice and too forgiving. but this is it.
you alwayss pushed me away, and pushed and pushed and pushed.

well i guess this time i finally just fell.